Session Guardrails
A few simple protocols to keep on track.
Fortification sessions aren't always a walk in the park. Emotions can flare up. A partner might get triggered. Discussions can escalate. But there are four things that we try to hold sacred in fortification: we call them our Session Guardrails, and they tend to keep conversations from becoming confrontational.
Bookmark this section (or create a handwritten copy) and keep the summary table open and visible during your sessions to hold yourselves accountable.
You can even politely point to a guardrail if things are veering off-track—but get the vibe right when course-correcting. Think "gentle reminder" not "criticism" or "opportunity to gloat."
Don’t interrupt
Wait until your partner is completely finished before speaking. Trust that if it’s important, you’ll recall what you want to say—or have the time you need to think and remember it.
Consider other factors
What else was going on in your or your partner’s life that might have caused or contributed to the challenge? How might you have contributed to the challenge? What could you have done differently?
Never get hostile
Use a neutral and objective tone. Communicate with compassion. Say it in a way your partner can hear.
Pause
Step away for a few minutes. Breathe. Reset. If you’re feeling ready, jump back in. Otherwise, it’s okay to end the session early and agree to revisit in the future. Just remember to close with a positive!